Once upon a time, feminism was about fighting for the rights and dignity of women — all women. It stood for equal pay, the right to vote, bodily autonomy, and the freedom to live life on one’s own terms. It fought systems of oppression, not individuals. It opened doors, shattered ceilings, and built bridges.
But lately, something’s changed.
In some online spaces — and even offline — feminism feels like it’s lost its way. What used to be a movement for equality is slowly turning into a place where male-bashing is mistaken for empowerment, and where only certain types of women are accepted as “woke” enough to belong.
This shift isn’t just harmful to men — it’s deeply damaging to women, too. And the worst part? We’re not talking about it nearly enough.
When Feminism Becomes Just Another Weapon
Let’s be clear: holding men accountable for harmful behavior, speaking out against patriarchy, and discussing gender-based violence are all crucial parts of the feminist movement. But there’s a difference between calling out a system and condemning an entire gender.
The rise of viral slogans like “Men are trash” may feel cathartic in moments of anger, but when those ideas become normalized, they shift the conversation from justice to judgment. Suddenly, all men are the enemy — regardless of their actions, intentions, or beliefs.
That’s not feminism. That’s misandry — and it’s a dangerous distortion of what the movement was meant to be.
Feminism, at its core, is not about flipping the power dynamic and putting women above men. It’s about dismantling the idea that anyone should have power over another based solely on gender. When we forget that, we risk becoming the very thing we set out to fight.
Double Standards Within the Movement
Here’s where things get complicated. While some modern feminists are quick to point out the harmful effects of toxic masculinity, they’re often blind to the toxic patterns within their own communities.
We criticize men for generalizing women, for enforcing beauty standards, for expecting women to act a certain way — but then turn around and do the same thing to other women in the name of “empowerment.”
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A woman chooses to be a stay-at-home mom? She’s “not ambitious enough.”
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She values family over career? She’s “stuck in the 1950s.”
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She prefers modesty or traditional roles? She’s “brainwashed by the patriarchy.”
How is this any different from toxic masculinity mocking men who cry or women who speak up? It’s the same judgment, just with different targets.
Why Some Women Are Afraid to Call Themselves Feminists
Ask around, and you’ll find that many young women — even those who believe in equality — avoid calling themselves feminists. Not because they don’t support the movement, but because they’re afraid of being associated with the louder, more extreme voices who have hijacked the narrative.
When feminism starts to sound more like a war against men than a push for fairness, it naturally becomes alienating. Not just to men, but to women who don’t fit the mold of the “ideal feminist” — outspoken, career-driven, anti-traditional, and always ready to clap back.
This is tragic, because feminism should feel like a safe home for all women — not a members-only club for those who pass the vibe check.
Mirroring the Oppression We’re Fighting
There’s a deep, uncomfortable truth here: some of today’s feminism mirrors the very toxic masculinity it was designed to oppose.
Just like toxic masculinity looks down on sensitive men or stay-at-home dads, toxic feminism looks down on women who choose motherhood, softness, or emotional labor over climbing corporate ladders.
Both create hierarchies of worth. Both say: “You’re only valid if you act the way we expect.”
That’s not empowerment. That’s pressure — and it’s exhausting.
Real Feminism Is About Choice — All Choices
The entire purpose of feminism is to give women the freedom to choose their own path. Whether that’s becoming a CEO, starting a family, wearing makeup, or not — those are all feminist choices if they’re made freely, without coercion or shame.
A woman who chooses to lead a boardroom is no more feminist than one who chooses to raise a family full-time. A woman in a hijab can be just as empowered as one in a miniskirt. A man who supports gender equality is not your enemy — he’s your ally.
We can’t keep pretending that feminism only works if it looks a certain way. If we do, we’re not building equality. We’re just building a new version of oppression — and painting it pink.
So What Now?
It’s time to bring feminism back to its roots: equality, inclusion, and freedom. That means calling out injustice without turning into the oppressor. That means lifting each other up — whether we’re climbing corporate ladders or pushing strollers. And that means remembering that feminism isn’t about being better than men. It’s about being equal — and letting everyone, regardless of gender, be their full, authentic selves.
Let’s stop turning feminism into a weapon. Let’s make it a movement again.